11 Reasons Why You Cannot Accept Criticism and How To Turn That Negative Into A Positive.

Published: 17th October 2008
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The ability to receive feedback is the life blood of a thriving business and any ongoing development. It is criticism that is the proverbial axe that cuts at the base of tree. It seems its only purpose is to cut you off at the ankles. Criticism is, however, rather like bread crumbs in the bed. You simply can't pretend it's not there, whether it's good or bad. So how do you learn to accept criticism, whether it is said intentionally, in ignorance, or foolishly? How do you take that negative and turn it around into a positive, which is the key to every successful entrepreneur?

Here are 11 causes as to why you find it impossible to receive criticism:

1.The critic's motives are not always clear and shows no understanding of your aims and goals
2.The critic assumes the position that there is a universal standard, or method on which the criticism is based and the critic is the sole possessor of the ability to form that measurement
3.The critic shreds your self-esteem leaving you feeling inadequate, hopeless and plain stupid
4.Criticism that is destructive points at you, rather than to the any short fall of your project, or performance
5.The critic makes you feel you are an idiot and therefore deserve to be ridiculed
6.The critic has the attitude of being superior and smarter than you
7.Destructive criticism is always one sided, looking at only the negatives
8.The critic wants you to believe that the criticism must be accepted
9.It informs you of everything the critic believes is wrong, because you don't have the ability to see it yourself
10.Criticism can be delivered in a snide, sarcastic, snarky, mocking, cynical, thoughtless, mean, spiteful, flippant, arrogant, dismissive, jealous, curt or annoyed manner
11.The criticism will 'put-you-in-your-place' because you are getting 'too-big-for-your-boots'.

It is quite a normal reaction to attempt to defend yourself and then to hit back, when you have been wiped out because of criticism. Whenever anyone throws a spear, you naturally want to throw it back.

We'll take a minute to look at what constructive criticism is. However, remember you must have established a strong relationship with the person offering the criticism:

1.Good criticism is heavily laced with compassion, not arsenic and strychnine.
2.An effective critic will have a true understanding of the intent and purpose of what has been done and what your aims and goals are. They will try to look at it from your point-of-view
3.A good critic spends more time telling you what is right, than what they believe is wrong with you, or your project, or performance, then some more good comments. Rather like a sandwich with the negative as the filling
4.Good criticism is an act of respect and careful communication, looking at your project, or performance, not at you as a person
5.Constructive criticism will help you to make the absolute best of your next set of choices
6.Good criticism will show up any slapdash, or laxness in your performance, or weakness in your project
7.Constructive criticism leaves you room to move with dignity, not slavishly follow what the critic has to say
8.Constructive criticism uplifts you mentally, morally, emotionally and spiritually.

Being able to find good feedback which you can trust is an almost impossible task. Here are a few golden rules that will assist you working your way through criticism.

1.Always know that it is much easier to give criticism out, than it is to receive it.
2.Take time out to decipher what angle your critic is shooting from. Then give yourself time to assess if there is any truth in it. More often than not, there is.
3.Your first reaction will be an illogical one. If you respond instantaneously to the criticism, it will be a negative on your part.
4.Don't allow yourself to wander down the no-exit road of self pity. That's an indulgence you can't afford and it will get you nowhere.
5.Professional boxers can teach you a thing or two. When they are hurt, they go to the ropes and regroup. You need to do the same thing.
6.The danger is that when you react to one form of criticism, you lay yourself open to being susceptible to another kind of criticism.

When you see criticism as a golden opportunity to take stock, you are on your way to healthy growth. You can improve where necessary, then climb on to even greater heights. If you are in the successful lane, criticism WILL come your way. Only the successful entrepreneur takes time out to turn Negative criticism into a Positive.

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